I got a haircut yesterday. Seems like a minor task to do before going abroad but it felt much more symbolic to me. Other than a quick trim for a wedding in September, I can't even remember the last time I got a real haircut. Long hair (or more importantly the giant messy bun) is just one of my things, a defining characteristic.
With the stress of leaving and other life stuff going on lately, I thought cutting my hair would just be another source of anxiety. I thought it'd be like losing something very familiar that I wasn't ready to let go of. But sitting in the salon chair talking to the stylist about the best/worst reality TV, I felt excited. I didn't freak out as she chopped off over 8 inches as I thought I would. Again, I know this seems silly, but having long hair for so long it was a big moment. (And it came out pretty solid if I do say so myself).
Later, as I was happily flipping my new hair around amazed at how full and healthy it felt, a friend said to me, "Remember how anxious you were about getting it cut? Should show you how the whole trip is going to go." I had been dreading cutting my hair and waited until the second to last day to do it, afraid of losing a point of comfort and anxious about not knowing if I would like this short-haired future. But afterwards, I loved it. Just as much as I had built up cutting my hair in my head, I have been building up traveling abroad. Even though I know there is so much to be excited about, I’ve been focusing so much on my pre-departure anxiety that it’s been hard to remember the good things that are to come.
I can only hope that the transition abroad will go as well as the haircut did (and that I’ll love being there as much as I already love having shorter hair). I know there’s no way to avoid the anxiety I’m having now about leaving, but I’m trying my best to think about how great Myanmar could be when I get there. Though it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, in this moment I’m feeling excited. Terrified of the unknown and of what I’m leaving behind, but remembering it's okay to be nervous and feeling hopeful about the adventures ahead.
I’m excited to get this blog goin so follow along or subscribe so you can get all the updates once I’m in Myanmar!